Cold Storage

The tale begins with origins in Australia, where remnants of the Skylab fallout infect and destroy a remote community after a murderous parasitic fungus is released. The organism is eventually contained and sealed within a deep bunker in Kansas, where it remains locked in an airtight holding tank for two decades. 

However, when the government facility is sold to a self-storage company, the fungus is forgotten—until night guards Travis (Joe Keery) and Naomi (Georgina Campbell) investigate a mysterious alarm. Their discovery triggers a series of events that alerts the secret government agency responsible for handling such threats. Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and Trini Romano (Lesley Manville) lead the response, bringing together an unlikely group of people who simply hope to live to see another day while trying to save the world. 

On the surface, Cold Storage has the look and feel of a B-movie from the early 1980s, reminiscent of films like Tremors and They Live. It is built on a ridiculous premise—an underlying conspiracy theory combined with unexpected heroes tasked with saving humanity. Think of it as a mix of a zombie-style storyline, slapstick comedy, and a generous dose of suspended disbelief. Adding A-grade actors into the mix gives the production a level of cinematic gravitas that aims to lift it beyond mere cult-classic territory. Yet despite Koepp’s writing pedigree, the film’s self-awareness, and its impressive cast, the production struggles to justify its existence. 

Cold Storage contains many of the necessary ingredients for this kind of story and sets things up effectively in the opening act. Unfortunately, the film slips and slides through uneven pacing as it tries to make sense of its sloppy concept. The story moves slowly, and characters are introduced sporadically, making it difficult to understand why everyone is involved. Each element fails to go far enough to be convincing. The horror is not frightening enough, the comedy is poorly timed, the talented cast is underused—or at times forgotten—and the weak love story fails to resonate. 

In the end, Cold Storage proves that some stories are better left sealed away in a vault deep underground—for everyone’s good. 

Reel Dialogue: Foolishness or wisdom? 

Depending on how you look at it, films like Cold Storage tap into the frustratingly entertaining side of human foolishness. As you watch, you may find yourself yelling at the screen: Don’t touch that! Don’t open that door! Or when the zombie starts vomiting green ooze—run! 

Stories like this often highlight how easily people ignore common sense, which opens the door to a deeper question about wisdom and foolishness. 

Foolishness is often defined as a lack of judgement or good sense. Yet it is not a trait limited to the simple-minded or the uneducated. In reality, all of us can fall into foolishness when we refuse to listen to reason, ignore wisdom, or reject the insight of those who have gone before us. This film reminds us that foolish decisions are not confined to one type of person—they are part of the human condition. 

The real challenge, however, is knowing where to find true wisdom. 

The Bible has much to say about fools and how to avoid walking that path. Many passages point toward a standard for life that rises above personal opinion or impulse. The book of Proverbs begins with a powerful statement: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” In other words, wisdom begins by recognising God and learning to live with reverence toward Him. 

It is a reminder that the path away from foolishness starts not with human cleverness, but with humility before God. 

Bible References

Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction."

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